


The law of probability

by lagomgalen



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/M, Pregnancy, Semi-Public Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:06:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lagomgalen/pseuds/lagomgalen
Summary: Blair haven't seen Dan since she got back together with Chuck. But when they meet again at an UES event, they sleep together before parting ways again.Three weeks later Blair finds out that she's pregnant.By all the laws of probability it must be Chucks. Right?
Relationships: Chuck Bass/Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey & Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 20
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dark allies are where people die

Dark allies are where people die.

Dark allies are where pretty girls go to take a cigarette and end up as a bloody pool of their former, glorious self. 

Blair Waldorf has no intention of ending up like that. Usually, she wouldn't even be caught dead in an ally like this one, dark and smelly and probably full of germs and rats. But right now, when she has Dan Humphrey's hands on her sides, his lips on her neck, she couldn't care any less. He is pressing her up against the cold concrete wall and she can feel him against her dress, that's how close they are. 

Just a couple of hours ago she had walked into the fabulous release party for her mother's newest collection, a small collection of couture dresses, with Chuck Bass' arm linked with hers. There had been plenty of small talk and several martinis, chit-chatting with her mom and Cyrus as well as Serena and her mother. It had all been a pleasant Upper East Side gathering. It was everything she had envisioned when she returned to Chuck and left her Brooklyn life behind. Still, she couldn't help but miss him, from time to time. In several matters and most of her life. From how well he got along with Dorotha, talking with her over breakfast, complimenting her on her work, whereas Chuck would barely acknowledge Blair's maid. She would miss him when she watched a good movie or read an odd classic, knowing that he would make comments about her taste in 40's and 50's noir, whereas Chuck just would look at the movies with Blair out of politeness, always silent and bored. Heck, Blair even missed Dan in bed. She and Dan always had sex differently every time and it was filled with feelings and praise and laughter and gasping. When she and Chuck had sex in was almost always punishing, hard and clasping, static and honestly - boring. It was almost as if they were trying to compensate for their lack of public affection during the light of the day. And she had been thinking about the boring sex that was waiting for her when Chuck would escort her home - when Daniel Humphrey had walked in. 

He was wearing his simple suit and his hair was as messy as always - he looked ridiculous. But she couldn't help but stare. He was walking in with Nate who - of course - looked like a model, but still it was Dan who caught her eye. And when Chuck excused himself to talk work with Lily, Blair made her way over to Dan in the bar. First, it was awkward and stiff, but then he asked her if she had been to the new art exhibition at the Mets and the conversation just rolled on. It was easy, too easy, to forget then and there that Dan no longer was hers. They chatted and drank and soon the words came. 

"I miss you"

Afterward, she would not be able to tell who said it, if it was her or Dan, but it had an effect. Dan had almost dragged her outback, into the alley and kissed her. 

That's where they are now, panting between heated kisses, hands exploring familiar curves. When Dan moves to kiss down her neck, she pulls him in even closer. She can feel his smug smile against the crook of her neck as he slides his hands in under her dress. She feels herself push him away just enough so that she can take off his tie and start unbuttoning his shirt. She can fell him watching her and meets his eyes. They are so full off lust and want and adoration that she blushes. In a matter of seconds, but what feels like an eternity, she has pulled down his pants and him her panties and he lifts her against the wall. 

This sex is full of hastiness and roughness and want. It's filled with the feeling of perhaps getting caught and not caring at all. It's filled with moans of praise and gasps of names. She calls him Humphrey then Brooklyn then Dan. Dan. And when she comes she bites down on his shoulder so that she does not scream his name. 

They don't say anything when they get dressed again, silently processing what just happened. But when Blair moves to go inside, Dan reaches out and grabs her hand. He pulls her back into a hug, kisses her on her forehead, and tells her that he's missed her, even if he is just a one-time indiscretion. He tells her that this can be their goodbye if she wants to and if she's happy with Chuck. Then, when he asks her if she's happy with Chuck, she removes herself from his arms and goes back inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And I could easily lose my mind  
> The way you kiss me will work each time  
> Pulling me back into the flames  
> And I'm burning up again, I'm burning up"  
> \- Vance Joy, Georgia

When Blair came back into the reception, Chuck still hadn't come back down. Blair took this opportunity to go freshen herself up in the bathroom mirror. Her face was wet, when had she started crying? She applied lipgloss and mascara almost mechanically as if she had cheated on Chuck several times before. Cheated. Blair Waldorf had cheated on Chuck Bass. As it sank in, she let out a weird sound that was something between a laugh and a sob. A tear rolled down her chin. She couldn't believe how bad she felt, considering the affairs Chuck already had.

They had been back together for just two months and already Blair noticed signs of his indiscretion. Weird business hours and calls he would hide from her as well as jewelry that she would find in his drawers but she never received. She had ignored it, played her part in their relationship. She loved Chuck and she had chosen this life for herself. She was the only one to blame for what her life had become. Besides, where would she turn with this problem? To Nate? He had his hands full with his own problems right now. Blair knew that he was trying to make a career for himself but he did not have the guts to fight his way forward in life. Serena? She would only tell her to talk to Chuck, work things out. Then she would proceed to tell Blair that Chuck and she were meant to be, the perfect power couple. Then she would probably drown another margarita and take a plane to some exotic island somewhere. And then there was Dan. This time last year, hell, two months ago, she would have gone directly with her problems to him. And he would have listened, told her she was strong and beautiful and that she didn't need Chuck Bass to be Blair Waldorf. And Blair knew all of this. She didn't need a man, but the embarrassment of having to leave the man who was supposed to be the love of her life because he didn't love her enough? It was too much. What would everyone think of her? The woman who couldn't keep her husband satisfied. 

Blair had considered going on the pill. Because even if Blair and Chuck always used a condom, which did, the thought of becoming pregnant with his child was truly terrifying. A couple of years ago and honestly by the time she left Dan this spring she had been ready for all that a life with Chuck Bass would bring her. She wanted children, she knew that. Several actually, she had always missed having a sibling to talk to and spend time with, but the mere thought of bearing Chucks baby sent chills down Blairs back. Even if she wouldn't leave Chuck, she knew that she could turn her heal on him if she wanted to and never see his face again. But with a baby in the picture, she would always be bound to him in some way. A string she couldn't break and a reason she had to stay in contact with him, even if she left him. 

She sprayed her channel perfume over her clothes in hope that any eventual Humphrey-smell would be covered and left the bathroom, head high. When she emerged she found Chucks face in the crowd, standing beside Lily with a whiskey-glass in his hands. He was smiling, talking in his usual low tone. She fell effortlessly back to his side, acting as if nothing was wrong. But when he pulled her by her waist a little too close she knew. He knew.

=

Dan couldn't tell you what had come over him. Well maybe, but he had no explanation he would be proud of. He had spent two months trying to get over Blair. He had tried it all. He had slept with Serena (which got recorded) and flew to Europe for a month, just roaming among his favorite authors' favorite cities. He had tried writing, but all that came out were prose for her, sentences about her sweet smell and silk hair. Hell, he even slept with Georgina. As far as he could tell there hadn't been any recordings involved there, but considering that it's Georgina Dan wouldn't be surprised if there were. He hadn't watched or read anything classic that he believed that she could like. If there were the slightest risk that he would think of her when doing it, he didn't want to. The last two weeks Dan had spent with Nate, drinking and venting. It was a miracle that he didn't weigh at least 50 pounds more now than before, considering that his diet was more or less chips and beer. Every once in a while they would do shots, and that's how varied Dan's diet had been. He had been so angry with Blair, felt crushed every time Blair or Chuck was mentioned on Gossip Girl. He had been determined to never speak to her again, letting his wounds heal slow but steady.

And then the party came. Rufus had refused to accept a no to the invitation for Dan, saying that he needed to get out. Dan had complained about how it was Blair's mother's event, but Rufus had told him that he could choose between that and family brunch, where she would show up with Chuck. That choice had been easy. Hundred of people and Blair or ten people and Blair? So Dan had taken a shower, run his finger through his hair, and shaved. He had put on the simplest of his suits and gone to the event. By Dan's standards, the reception was huge. At least a few hundred guests, and he thought that he perhaps could go through the entire evening without seeing Blair. He had arrived with Nate, who had suggested that they moved over to the bar. Dan had laughed and turned towards Nate to tell him that it was a great idea, and that's when he saw her. She was standing beside Chuck in a glorious dress. It was tight and golden and she was so beautiful. He was completely frozen, stunned by her mere presence. Nate pushed him toward the open bar, where they ordered shots that they drowned easily. After four shots each, they ordered a beer and talked. Or, at least Dan thinks they did. He couldn't really recall what they talked about. Then she emerged. She just dropped down on the chair beside him. Where had Nate gone? 

He tried to stay mad and hold his ground, he did. But then he accidentally slipped out that he had been at the most recent exhibition on architecture at the Met, and then the conversation sped up. There were no more awkward, civil lines of pleasantries. It became harder and harder to remember that she wasn't his anymore. They had moved on from art to movies they had seen and on to books. And that's when she had told him she had re-read The Great Gatsby - one of his favorites. 

"I miss you"

Dan doesn't know who said it but they had ended up in a dark alley behind the fancy building. His - very drunk - consciousness kept screaming that he shouldn't, that he should turn around now and don't look back. He should get Nate and leave, they could get drunk in some district far, far away from here and just forget all of this. But then she had kissed him, sweet and soft that quickly got replaced by eager and wanting. Dan couldn't think, everything spun around in his head and all he could feel, hear and see was Blair. She had pulled him closer and he pulled her closer and then they were just eight limbs from the same body. He had started to peel off her dress as she started to unbutton his shirt, or maybe it was the other way around. It reminded him too much about their time in the alley just a few months ago, and he knew that he would have to drink until he dropped to forget this, that his entire progress officially had gone amok but he couldn't care less at that moment. It had been amazing, truly amazing. She had gasped her name into his shoulder, first Brooklyn, then Humphrey, and lastly Dan. She had settled on Dan and when then came simultaneously she bit his name down into his shoulder. He almost let the three forbidden words slip right there.

They had dressed in silence, the awkwardness back, neither looking at the other. But when she had moved to go back inside Dan had gone on his impulse, reached out and grabbed her hand. He pulled her into a hug and started rambling general nonsense. He had missed her, he was okay with this being goodbye if she wanted that. He kissed her forehead and felt his heart ache. Then he had looked her into her eyes and asked her if she was happy with Chuck and his heart broke, shattering into a million small pieces. She had let out a sob and tears had rolled down her cheeks. Dan hated Chuck at that moment, and if it weren't for the fact that Blair never would have forgiven him for it he would have gone straight inside and punched Chuck hard. Instead, he just watched as she pulled away and went back inside. 

Goddamit, what had he done? If Chuck found out, forget about Dan, Blair would be first in the line for his rage. And Chuck always found out. What had he done?

=

"It was with him, wasn't it"

After exchanging small pleasantries with Lily and Rufus, Chuck had excused them and pulled Blair slightly too hard upstairs into an empty office. 

Blair had tried to look questioning but she knew it failed. And when he had pointed out the dirt on her dress and how neither she or Dan had been there when he came back she knew all hope was lost. She looked down at her shoes and felt the heat rise to her cheeks. She could hear his harsh breathing, feel the tension in the small room grow. Chuck moved a few feet closer to Blair and a chill went up her spine when she realised that she was within reach for him to hit her. She just stood there, ready for the hit, when Chuck took a deep sigh. 

"Was it a one-time thing?" he said while pulling slightly at his suit, smothering out imaginary wrinkles. "Was it for closure? Will it happen again?"

This was her shot. If Blair wanted out this was it. She could simply tell him that it wasn't a one-time thing, that she had missed him and wanted it to happen, wanted it to happen again. Then she could just walk out of this. But the words wouldn't come, instead, she just nodded and watched as he sighed in relief while she felt as trapped as ever. He had smiled his thin smile av her, kissed her forehead, and whispered that they should leave. She had let him escort her out after exchanging pleasant goodbyes with important guests. Blair had looked around for Dan but couldn't see him anywhere and guessed he must have gone home. 

That night Chuck fucked Blair harsher and more punishing than ever before. In some ways it hurt, and Blair knew that she would have bruises in the morning. But all she could think of was how gentle Dan had been, even in their hastiness and time limit. When Chuck finished inside of her she realised that he never put on a condom. 

And neither had Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Thanks for reading this far! I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and ideas so please comment something if you want! xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Talking like we used to do  
> It was always me and you  
> Shaping up and shipping out  
> Check me in and check me out"  
> \- Mess is mine, Vance Joy

"Fuck"

It had been precisely three weeks and four days since the night of the reception and exactly one week since Blair should have gotten her period. It had been Blair's biggest challenge yet to hide her utter panic from everyone in her life. That she hadn't gotten her period was easy enough to cover, but the morning sickness and lack of appetite had been more challenging. Chuck hadn't noticed, of course, but Dorota had asked Blair if she had relapsed. Blair had simply given Dorota a pointed stare and told her not to conclude fiction without proof. Dorota had engaged Blair in one, long stare-battle before telling her that she was not easily fooled and turned her heel and left. Now Blair was completely alone in the penthouse. She had waited for Chuck to leave for his business trip to Germany before asking Dorota to discretely buy her a pregnancy test. When Dorota had handed the box over to Blair with a questioning look Blair had been quick to dismiss her aid and leave for her bedroom. Dorota knew, she wasn't stupid after all, and Blair had made a mental note to give her aid her thanks for being so discrete about it all when it was over. Then she had taken the tests.

The first one turned out positive.

The second one too.

Blair had fallen instantly to the floor. She was a bundle of cries and sobs. She was pregnant. There was another human growing inside her. Any other time in her life she might have been thrilled, but right now? She cried big, fat tears and felt a sudden rush to purge. She was pregnant. She was pregnant. She was pregnant with Chuck's baby.

 _Or Dan's_ a voice in her head told her.

She had left within minutes.

=

Dan had been sitting on his couch, re-reading The Great Gatsby when he heard the lightest of knocks on his door. Just as he rose from the couch the door opened and Blair Waldorf stepped inside. He had known her for years, dated her for months and still never seen her like this. Her hair was completely wild, put up in one messy bun with several strands sticking out. She was dressed in slacks and a fuzzy sweatshirt, which is Blair Waldorf's edition of pajamas. Her mascara was smooched and her eyes were red and puffy. And she looked beaten, her head low and her shoulders tense.

"Hey", Dan said, his voice almost a whisper. He felt as if she would run if he scared her and so he moved towards her slowly but she winced at his movement. Dan stopped short but gave her a small smile, searching for her eyes which she kept firmly on the floor. After a few moments of silence, Dan figured that she wouldn't say anything and moved behind the kitchen counter. He felt Blair's eyes on him as he started the kettle and took out her favorite tea from his cabinet, happy that he had kept it. He heard her pull out a chair by the counter and dared to look at her. She was looking right at him, perplexed and confused but still silent. He handed her the cup of tea before preparing his own. Then he took a seat beside her. He moved to brush a tear off her cheek and was surprised to see that she not only let him, she also gave him a small smile.

Dan hadn't seen Blair since the night of the reception. He had snuck out without Nate when he saw Blair go upstairs with Chuck. He had spent these weeks hidden out in his apartment, less broken that he thought he would be but broken nonetheless. He had taken up both reading and writing again. He was still only able to write about her, but he didn't care that much. He dreamed of her every night, the dreams ranging from hot, wet dreams to dreams of her simply walking through the door. He dreamed of her things in his room and her specific food in his fridge. Nate had stopped by a few times and commented on how much better Dan seemed to be doing. He was, but there was one thing that was bugging him. Knowing that she had missed him, if only a little, had aided him in his recovering, but the fact that she hadn't seemed happy never really left his mind. How she had looked him in the eyes and shed tears when he asked her if she was happy with Chuck. He had forced himself to let it go when he saw her walk willingly with Chuck upstairs at the party, but the thought never left him alone.

Now she was here, in his kitchen, drinking tea out of his mug. She fitted in there and it hurt him immensely. But not like her crying as this did. She started mumbling about how she didn't know why she was here and how Dan probably didn't want to see her. "I screwed up" she had whispered and met his eyes. "What is it Blair?" he had simply answered her, with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He could see how she braced herself, put her armor back on before attempting to straighten up and put on a brave face. She gave the saddest of smiles and said;

"I'm pregnant"

An _Oh_ had escaped him and he felt utterly stupid, but what else could he say? Dan was lost on words for the first time in his adult life. "What did Chuck say?" he asked, and it felt like a reasonable thing to say. Blair simply looked up towards the roof and let out a bitter sound that was something between a sob and a laugh. "I haven't told him yet" "Why not?" he had said immediately and she looked him in the eyes, really looked at him for the first time since she came and she simply breathed out "'Cause it might not be his"

=

Blair had visibly seen the realization sink in by Dan's features, him tensing up before letting out one big sigh and pull slightly at his hair. He had looked her straight in her eyes for several seconds, his face expressionless before saying "What can I do for you?"

Blair waited, believed that some kind of mean comment would follow up the question but nothing came. She thought he would dismiss her, tell her to go back to Chuck and not call him again. Honestly, she thought he would tell her to leave the second she walked into his apartment. She was not ready for this level of kindness coming from him. And because of this, because of her loss for words, she simply shrugged. "I haven't been able to think about anything like that yet" she whispered. "I took the test this evening". He rose, coming to hug her. It was a little awkward considering the angle but it was still perfect and exactly what Blair needed. She hadn't realized how few simple touches like hugs she was getting nowadays until she hugged Dan, and she had missed them. "Where is Chuck?" he had asked over her shoulder and she had told him that Chuck was in Europe for business. Dan suggested that Blair would sleep on it, jokingly telling her that she looked like a walking zombie, which lurked a small laugh out of Blair. "Do you want me to take you home? Or do you have the town car around?" Blair simply shook her head. The thought of going home to the empty penthouse and sleep in Chuck's sheets, alone if only companied by the growing creature in her stomach, repulsed Blair. "Can I stay here tonight?" Blair heard herself say and mentally cursed herself for being to blunt. But Dan simply smiled and told her to wait there while he brought out something she could sleep in. He was being too nice to her, giving her kindness and compassion that she didn't deserve. But she was too tired to think. She accepted Dan's t-shirt with a smile before walking into his bathroom. Looking herself in the mirror she almost laughed. Dan was right, she looked horrible. She hadn't slept properly for over a week and it was showing. Blair got changed and folded her clothes before putting them on top of Dan's laundry basket. When she entered the living room again Dan was making his couch into a makeshift bed. When he turned around to grab one of the blankets he had picked up from his room (if they were where they used to be when Blair spent time here) he noticed her. "You take the bed", he said with a genuine smile. "I've slept so many times on this couch that my body has adjusted itself to it". He laughed a little and looked at her. Blair smiled at him but shook her head. "I'm not going to take your bed from you". She held up her hand to quiet him when he opened his mouth. "Either you let me take the couch or we share the bed". She stopped herself from mentioning that she knew they would both fit.

And so it was. Blair laid at her usual - no, her former - side of the bed, Dan stroking her hair until they both fell asleep. "I don't want to have Chuck's baby" she breathed out. "It's okay" he whispered into her hair. "It will all be okay"

And she believed him.

=

Blair woke up, disorientated and lost, eyes were swollen. It took her a few moments to realize that she was in Brooklyn, the stacks of classic literature on the floor giving in away. Chuck hated Blair's collection of books and considered them to clutter up their bedroom. They were instead dispatched to Serena's old bedroom, now an office. It was mainly used by Blair anyways, so she had gotten the most comfortable armchair in New York to put in there. She had fallen asleep in it a few too many times but Chuck had never come and gotten her. She had woken up there in the morning, as alone as she was when she fell asleep, not even knowing if Chuck made it home the night before. She was alone here too, but at least she had Austen, Dickens, and Fitzgerald to keep her company.

She rose from the empty bed and tip-toed out. The first thing that hit her was the smell of waffles and freshly brewed coffee. She moved towards the kitchen but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Dan's computer. It was sitting on the coffee table by the couch where he usually sat and wrote, but he didn't have any documents open now. There was a split-screen between two websites. The first one was a store that sold nursery furniture, the other was the local Planned Parenthood. He had looked it up, both options. "Hey, I thought I heard you come up..." Dan locked eyes with her when he came around the corner. When he saw what she had been looking at heat rose to his cheeks, his face turning bright red. He started fumbling and mumbled out "Yeah, um, I wanted to be ready when you felt ready to talk, I know it's silly...". He didn't get any further before Blair had rushed into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Thank you". He sighed in what sounded like relief and she felt his lips on her head. Eventually, he pulled away, telling her that the waffles were turning cold.

Breakfast was amazing. Blair had always had a soft spot for the Humphrey-waffles and the coffee. She had tasted the best coffee in bigger parts of the world but nothing felt as warm and comforting as Humphrey-coffee. Even this cup of decaf that Dan had made for her (from old beans he bought when Georgina was pregnant) was amazing. She didn't deserve any of it and considering that she asked him point-blank why he was being so nice to her. He had simply smirked at her and said: "Well if I could let Georgina Sparks crash here when she was eight months pregnant, one Blair Waldorf with a three-week fetus isn't that challenging". That had made Blair let out a small laugh, but Dan must have sensed her skepticism because he moved to sit beside her by the counter. He looked her, dead serious, in her eyes. "You are my best friend Blair, whatever we were or are or could have been, you are my best friend". He took her hand in his, stroke his thumb on the back of it. "And I can't pretend that I've completely moved on from you, that I no longer have feelings for you" Blair wanted to tell him that she didn't want him to move on, but that seemed like a terrible idea so she let him go on. "But I'm willing to set that aside for now. For this". For you was heavily implied, resting in his eyes, but neither of them questioned it.

Blair helped him wash the dishes, and they filled the silence with small discussions and debates over the latest premier at Film Forum. It felt natural as if nothing was off or wrong. When Dan blurted out that they should go watch the premiere of a french movie that he thought she would like Blair could see him tense up. For a short second they were completely silent, the room thick with awkwardness, before Blair casually told him that she would love to. As Dan relaxed Blair could picture this as her future. Her and Dan discussion movies to attend for date nights before they got interrupted by baby cries. It was a scary thought, but Blair blushed as she realized that it was quite tempting. What was scary was the thought of trying to do the same with Chuck. Blair was convinced that even having separated parents and shared custody was better for her baby than them growing up to learn that love was what Chuck and Blair had.

Her Baby. Dan's baby? Chuck's baby?

A _freaking baby._

"I'm ready to talk now", she said, as confident as she could, turning to face Dan with a hand on her stomach. He gave her a firm nod, a stiff and nervous smile before leading her over to the couch. It felt oddly nostalgic, a reminder of the times when she had been pregnant with Louis' baby and Dan had convinced her to take the paternity test. He had told her that night that even if she lost everything, she still would have him. Blair couldn't help but wonder if the same applied if she had more than they wanted. Then she glanced over at the computer behind the bookshelves and felt secure in her choice. She had done the right one coming to Dan with this. She met his warm, brown eyes and realized that he was waiting for her to start the conversation. But she didn't know where to start. How could she, when it all felt surreal, like a dream? She was taken back to last night before she fell asleep in Dan's bed. That was where she would start. "I don't want to have Chuck's baby", she said confidently, meaning every word. She looked Dan straight in the eye, daring him to question her. Of course, he did. "Why not?". His look was so sincere it almost hurt. "Wasn't that the plan? The whole idea of the life you wanted?". There was no spite or sign of mocking in his words, just concern, and it was the final straw for Blair. She let it all spill. How she had made a mistake leaving with him, not only because of Dan, that was another conversation, but because she was living for an idea. The life she had envisioned with Chuck hadn't shown its face, nothing going the way she had dreamed of. And even the few things that had gone as planned, living together and being powerful people in a powerful couple hadn't only been pretty much non-existent, it all also seemed dull to Blair now. Through her rambling Dan had looked sadder and sadder, like he felt for this old friend or love who wasn't happy. But when she had mentioned the mistresses the sadness had turned to anger with a single blink. She told him everything. All the evidence she had of his affairs, all the women she suspected, the few she knew for certain he had slept with at least once. By now she was crying and she was rambling on about how trapped she felt, how she felt like property, and how she didn't feel loved anymore. She was crying big fat tears. She could see him clenching his fists through her foggy eyes when she mentioned the bruises and see him hang his head low when she told him it had gotten worse after Dan and Blair's alley-sex. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. She put her hand over his fist and felt him relax under it. "I'm okay," she said. He took her hand in his but still didn't look her in the eye. "I just..." she began. "He would never let me go if it's his. There would always be a reason for him to keep me put". Dan nodded. "So if it's his, you want an abortion?" Blair nodded. She didn't want or need to think it over. She could see Dan's computer in the corner of her sight and knew Dan was thinking about the same thing as she was. "And if it's mine?"

Blair honestly didn't know. On the one hand, she was young and this had been an accident. They weren't an established, happy family planning for this. Dan wasn't even her boyfriend, and she belonged to another. No, a voice told her. You don't belong to anyone. But still, she could picture the life this accident could lead to, and it was tempting. Blair always knew that she wanted children, small hands, and tiny laughter as well as sleepless nights and drama-filled teenagers. And she had envisioned that life with Humphrey once, and it didn't look bad. Even if they would share custody and live separately, she knew that Dan would be a wonderful father to the baby and would care for her as well. She wasn't worried that her child would have to grow up in the drama that was the UES with Dan, he would be a stable parent, a safe parent. She also knew that the doctors told her that she might have a harder time getting pregnant after the car accident, and what if this is it? When all this had circulated in Blair, she simply shrugged, sending the question over towards Dan. "What do you think we should do?"

He seemed to be contemplating this all over in his head, fiddled with his hands. "I don't think we should take any rushed decisions". He looked over at her. "If I remember correctly you can do a paternity test after seven weeks", he looked at her for confirmation and she nods. "And you can do a simple abortion with just a pill until week ten", he said, gesturing towards the computer. "So I propose that we think this over until at least week ten, and really start discussing it when the results of the paternity test come". Blair nodded and even gave a small smile. It sounded like a good idea. "But Blair", he said, taking her hands in his and looking her straight in the eyes, causing Blair's breath to hitch. "I'm on board with whatever you want to do in the end. I understand that this is a team question, but if you decide that you don't want the baby or want the baby that's your prerogative and I will support you". Blair was lost on words, he was being too nice to her. "God, Humphrey", she said while blinking away a tear. "I don't deserve you". He laughed and kissed her at the top of the head. "On the topic of people not deserving other people, what are you going to do about Chuck?"

Blair shrugged. "Honestly, leaving him would only mean that he would keep an even closer eye on me, as per usual when we've been apart", Dan nodded in understanding. "And he's never home anyway. His business is expanding further in Europe so he will be there most of the time until at least October, which makes five weeks". In five weeks they would know the results of the paternity test, she would be in her eight week. It was almost too perfect and Blair knew that Dan was thinking of the same thing as she.

With their luck, something would come up that would bring it all to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or are the chapters getting longer and longer? xD  
> I know it's still pretty slow and all but I promise, it's speeding up!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've put the sound on my phone to the max, just call if you need me". 
> 
> She needed him. She needed him desperately. She could barely breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! Check the end notes for more nice stuff from me. Here is chapter 4!

The following three weeks went in a blur. Blair checked herself in the mirror every morning to ensure that she wasn't showing. Dan kept telling her that there was no possibility that anyone could see that she was pregnant, but Blair wasn't taking any chances. She only wore slightly baggier clothes and black, since it always seemed to have a slimming effect on the girl. She also blessed the gods that it was august and that the warm summer was coming to a close. Soon she'd be able to hide her pregnancy under the latest design cote.

She'd been spending most of her time at Dan's apartment. Neither of them had questioned the sudden shift, the fact that Blair and Dan spent time as couples do - like they used to do. They watched their old classics together, moving through the '40s and 50's film noir in no time. Around the end of the '40s, they had moved from sitting at opposite sides of the couch to Blair leaning on Dan's shoulder. When they got tired of movies they moved on to their respective works. Dan wrote and Blair drew and they could do that for hours on end, only speaking to ask for advice. Then they would move on to make dinner, either ordering in or bickering lightly over spices, and then argue over movies, art, or even design - wich Dan refused to acknowledge as something of even remote interest, but failed at miserably when he showed obvious interest in the recent launch of Ratio et Motus latest collection. Blair didn't question him.

And then she would call a cab and leave. She hadn't spent the night since that night a couple of weeks ago. Around 10 pm every night she would tell Dan that she was leaving and in a swift and always awkward moment they would say goodbye and then she would leave. Blair didn't know why Dan was opposed to her sleeping over, but she knew why she was. Her own bed was the only reminder she had that Dan was not her boyfriend. The knowledge that she had a home she was supposed to return to kept her from screwing up. Even if her home was empty and lonely, except for an ever confused Dorota, she still felt Chuck's presence there. She hated him for it. The apartment had been her home for as long as she could remember, and now it felt as if she was a guest in his home, not the other way around.

On Sundays, she would show up to brunch with the Humphrey-van der Woodsen bunch ten minutes late every time, and Dan showed up five minutes early. They would sit on opposite sides of the table, acting as if nothing was odd, avoiding talking to each other as much as possible. That wasn't exactly alarming for their families, who were very more surprised over the fact that they were being civil and sitting at the same table voluntarily. Then they would excuse themselves about half an hour apart, Dan first then Blair. Dan would go home to his apartment and make coffee and then Blair would come in, sitting down as if this - whatever it was that they were doing - was completely normal.

Blair suspected that this was their bubble. Their five-week bubble, before the results would come and they were forced back into reality. In two weeks they would know the results of the test and would be forced to act upon it. But for now, they would live in their small bubble.

\---

And one Saturday morning, the bubble popped.

Blair woke up, put on clothes and makeup as usual, and went downstairs, heading for the elevator when she heard Dorota's strained voice in the dining room.

"I apologize, Mr. Chuck, Blair has not been feeling well. I think it's flu" Chuck was barely listening, sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper, but Blair couldn't help to smile at her wonderful help, despite the chills that went down her spine due to the boy sitting on her chairs. She quickly took her phone out and wrote a quick message to Dan. " _He's home_ ". She looked up and found Chuck's eyes on her. She forced out a small smile, something she had perfected during her teenage years. "Honey!" she let out, almost flawlessly. "You're home!". Chuck set down the newspaper, never once letting go of Blair's gaze. "Just for the weekend, I'm afraid. Business slowed down enough this week that I was able to book a flight home". Blair sat down on the opposite side of the table, as was usual with Blair and Chuck. When she had dated Dan they would sit next to each other, legs tangled under the table, but with Chuck, they always stuck with their permanent sides opposite from each other, almost six feet apart. She had always suspected that it was a part of their power couple thing, but she had never questioned it. "Now" Chuck's voice interrupted her "I have some business to attend to today, but I booked a table at Le Bernardin for seven. Perhaps we could meet up there". It wasn't a question, Blair knew that perfectly well, but she nodded anyway. She sipped her tea silently, the food on her plate suddenly unbearably unappetizing. Her phone pinged with a message from Dan, " _You're not showing_ " as if he had read her mind. She couldn't help but smile, which caught the attention of Chuck, who lifted an eyebrow and scanned her. "What is making you so happy, love?" he said. She started blushing and thought that would give her away, but he had already lost interest in her and was looking down into his newspaper again. "Oh just Serena," Blair said, and she must've sounded at least a little convincing, cause Chuck didn't question her. She sat down opposite him, on the other short side, feeling miles away and not far enough anyway. She picked up her cup of tea, praying to God that Chuck wouldn't notice that she had switched out her usual cups of coffee. She checked her phone again, noticing a new message from Dan.

" _I've put the sound on my phone to the max, just call if you need me_ ".

She needed him. She needed him desperately. She could barely breathe.

"Well Blair love, I need to go, I promised to visit Lily on my way to work" As he rose from his chair and moved over to kiss Blair, she moved her cup so that he wouldn't see it and made an effort to meet him halfway, which hopefully came off as giddy and loving and not desperate. She watched him leave without acknowledging Dorota, who handed him his coat. And if Blair was being honest, she was both glad av saddened by the fact that he hadn't noticed Dorotas killing stare. When the elevator shut behind Chuck, Dorota bore her eyes into Blairs. "Break up with Mr. Chuck," she said, stunning Blair. Dorota had never openly spoken about her opinions on Blair's relationships with specific boys, just advising Blair about love in general. "What?" Blair stuttered, almost choking on her tea. "Break up with Mr. Chuck, get back together with Lonely Boy". Blair was stunned by the fact that Dorota knew that she was visiting Dan since she never told her maid where she was going. Dorota sighed and started cleaning up after Chuck - another thing Dan always used to do. "I really hope baby is Lonely Boys"

"Me too" Blair whispered when Dorota left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> If you're here then thank you for reading and for your patience! It's been a crazy couple of months for me and I was in such a writing slump. But I have already started on chapter five and have lots of ideas, though I love when you suggest things as well so pls do!
> 
> Well, untill next time  
> XOXO


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